One Year Old! February 25th

Our baby is one! In retrospect, this past year has flown by like no other. Yet when I think about those first few months, I remember the feeling of what seemed like endless days of napping, nursing, and changing diapers. And, if I was very lucky, a quick bath for myself.

Those first few months were - let's face it - essentially made up of caring for a tiny, fragile, needy blob. No real interaction except when Jack would look into my eyes while nursing. It's a tough go to be completely selfless with no immediate reward aside from the child's contentment. But, as a first time mom, I became frustrated anytime that contentment seemed to elude Jack. No one, no matter how honest, can really explain the incredible life change that is parenting.

Fortunately, just as you're starting to break down from exhaustion, the baby gives you their first smile. From that moment, the developmental milestones seemed to come quickly and efficiently. At a year old, Jack is using his walker like a champ, and just today, made a conscious choice to let go of his walker and stand independently for a few seconds. The days started to fly by as Jack was able to stay awake for longer periods of time, and I was able to leave the house with him.

I think that this may be my favorite time in Jack's childhood so far. He's independent, but still cuddly and sweet. He's a little explorer who is completely devoid of self-consciousness and self-editing tendencies. He's as demonstrative as he can be, making it very clear when he does or doesn't want to eat something, play with something, or pull something down. He's also quite responsive to any entertaining interaction - which means we're usually able to distract him during diaper changes, crying jags, and bad moods by making silly faces or noises. I do find that I'm willing to do just about anything if it means keeping Jack calm or distracted for a few extra minutes.

My proudest achievement is the fact that Jack has, on his own, continued to love the books that we read to him from a few weeks old. I like to think that we are responsible for this ingrained interest in books. On the other hand, my list of "should haves" is a bit longer. We should have moved him to his crib at three months. We should have introduced a lovey so he would find some comfort from something other than mama. We should have worked harder to introduce baby sign language to give him a method for communication aside from reaching and crying.

Fortunately, it's not too late to rectify some of these. Nor are any of them so dire as to introduce deep regret. They've become little more than passing thoughts. The focus is primarily on the present needs and entertainment of the baby. What I find extraordinary is that Jack is like a little Zen master - he longs to stay suspended, fully engaged, in the moment.

He has taught me to enjoy these small moments of discovery with him, and I'm excited to watch his progress over the next year.